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Whole Foods Market @ 235 Prospect Ave

235 Prospect Ave
07052 West Orange , NJ
United States
(973) 669-3196
Toilet Paper: 
Very well-stocked.
Venue Category: 
Specialty Food

The Scrawl on the Wall

A cup of dirt-water coffee an hour earlier; amused

Poor Whole Foods. This one's so busy delivering good customer service ( and they do, they really do ) that the bathroom seems like a lazy afterthought. It appears clean, but everything is so haphazard and comically at odds with itself that it makes you wonder.

The door hit the garbage can as I entered. Before I could wonder who the hell would put that there, I noticed a suspicious shopping bag filled with empty cardboard boxes near the sink. Why they were there? I haven't the foggiest. But "Why is this here?" became the question of the hour the more I snooped around.

I stepped in the first stall, which looked clean enough, but for no reason at all there was a toilet brush napping on the floor. It was as if someone went in there, did a half-assed scrub job, and gave no fucks about trying to hide it. I'm guessing the logic here is at least we know the toilets get cleaned.

The crooked sign above the toilet beseeching you not to put paper towels in it is a nice touch, but what really takes the cake is the ill-conceived floral arrangement on the sink's countertop.

In a sad attempt to class up the place, there was a vase of tulips that really had no business being in there. The soap dispensers were empty, too, so having to pump soap out of a bottle was a big plus. At least the automatic paper towel dispenser worked. For more laughs, check out the big storage bin under the sink, where I'm guessing that damn toilet brush was supposed to go.

I'd use this bathroom for the giggles more than the shits, but if I had to drop one, I would.
slackerology Female, 31 years old.
West Orange, New Jersey
On December 6, 2013, 11:02 am
What I Did in Here: Took a tinkle and did some FBI class investigating.