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The Dining Room at The Modern @ 9 W 53rd St

Address: 
9 W 53rd St
10019 New York , NY
United States
(212) 333-1220
Toilet Paper: 
Practically a hotel suite!
Neighborhood: 
Midtown West
Venue Category: 
French

The Scrawl on the Wall

Expensive things

Summary: To just walk into a place like this to use the bathroom is actually easier than you think. It's very upscale, but it's so upscale that it would be beneath them to actually deny you the service of using the bathroom.

The Modern, a pretty pricey upscale endeavor. It's not Per Se or Jean-George, but it will do.

The menu is full of Alsatian inspired dishes, which is fancy way of saying french food from france. Now after you eat about $70 worth of the parisian itself, you may or may not have to relieve yourself. The interesting part about this place is that, the bathroom is unisex. You would probably expect that since you could potentially be spending upwards of $700 on a date in the dining room and above $7000 in the Private dining area, that the whole communal sinks would be a thing of the past. Well you would be wrong fancy man, you would be wrong.

The bathroom is located at the back of the restaurant near the large green mural. You will most likely bump into other people of the same sex who look about as confused as you are that you will be going into the same bathroom,but hey when in france.

It's a very sheek layout that is all white. Separate sinks on the wall and on the opposite wall are doors. About 6 of them. Each door has a small room and in that room, you will poop. So lets call them poop rooms. When you go into your poop room a light will illuminate on the outside of the door so that people know you are pooping and that your poop room is off poop limits. At least for now. It's not the most spacious, but it is clean. Very, very clean. Ok get out of your poop room and go to the sink where you will either see a famous person, or some old lady with much too much plastic surgery and perfume on. Wash your hands. Twice. Then leave and pretend that you didn't just poop.

You have now been trained to poop fancy-like. Good for you.

It's fancy, but the unisex bathroom is slightly off-putting for such a nice restaurant.
Cowpie09 Male, 26 years old.
New York, New York
On November 18, 2013, 8:37 pm
What I Did in Here: The same thing I did in the Bar Room, cuz it's the same bathroom.