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Blockheads @ 499 3rd Ave

499 3rd Ave
10016 New York , NY
United States
(212) 213-3332
Toilet Paper: 
Somewhat well-stocked.
Midtown East
Venue Category: 

The Scrawl on the Wall

Mini vegan burrito & two bulldog margaritas; wanting to poop.

This is a nice place to go if you want to completely ignore the people you're with. With gluttonous portions eaten to the tune of tables full of screaming twenty-something year olds, it's always too loud to talk comfortably unless you want to add to the din. Better to eat, drink, and dread your upcoming bathroom experience.

For a restaurant that sees this many customers, it seems silly that there are only two toilets to serve both male and female customers. The best part is when there's a line and there often is. The bathrooms are at the back of the restaurant behind a small wall in a cramped waiting space where everyone is standing around miserably. The wall doesn't provide much cover, either, and if there are more than two people waiting, you're just hanging out for the whole restaurant to see.

I hope you came here with those friends you're probably not talking to, because you're going to need someone to watch your stuff. You're kind of screwed if you're coming into this bathroom with a coat, a purse, or pretty much anything. There's almost no space to move whatsoever and you'll cringe when your back touches something as you try to maneuver around.

This is an awful place to poop, too, and it scared mine right back up. I've got creaky old lady knees and frankly, I prefer to take twos in a place where I have something to hold onto that's not a sopping wet sink.

The bathroom upstairs is a bit better, probably because no one in their right mind wants to sit in the bootleg greenhouse of a seating area they keep up there. The only thing that makes this bathroom better, really, is that it has just a little more space.
slackerology Female, 31 years old.
New York, New York
On November 19, 2013, 4:16 pm
What I Did in Here: A very cautious piss.