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AMC Loews 34th Street 14 @ 312 W. 34th St.

Address: 
312 W. 34th St.
10001 New York , NY
United States
(212) 244-4556
Neighborhood: 
Hell's Kitchen
Venue Category: 
Cinema

The Scrawl on the Wall

Lots of beer and I wish it never left me

Okay this bathroom is located on the third floor and is down right confusing to navigate. THE ONLY REASON you should use this is you went to watch a movie, ate a lot of popcorn and drank a lot of soda and suddenly had the urge to pee your soul. I went there during a PM showing and I was genuinely afraid. It is eerie and when you are “doing your business” you can hear the ghosts of former cinema employees whispering in your ear, “2D is better than 3D.”
In all seriousness it was pretty disgusting. Toilet Paper was all over the floor and it had a horrible smell. There are a lot of stalls so privacy is not a problem, but if you use them you can just tell that the ghosts of former cinema employees are judging your actions.
PoopyDoopy Female, 29 years old.
New York, New York
On January 31, 2014, 8:31 am
What I Did in Here: Pee'd regret

My full body weight in popcorn and soda.

Jesus Christ, this place is like a goddamned M.C. Escher painting. I felt like I spent a small eternity going up and down escalators until I found a usable bathroom. There are escalators here that just lead to large landings, after which you ride yet another escalator up to the next floor.

I didn't spy any facilities on the ground floor, though I was told they exist. The theater is a bewildering maze of children, concession stands and discarded snacks.

If I remember correctly there are five floors. Four of those floors are theaters, and the third is comprised solely of toilets. Theoretically, the idea is logical and fantastic. Not so much in practice, though. That floor should have been a veritable porcelain palace. Instead, it reeked of diapers and spoiled food.

Predictably, the line for the women's room was incredibly long. One would think that a dedicated half-floor to ladies' bathroom would alleviate the post-movie pee crunch.

When I finally made it into the bathroom itself, it positively reeked of diapers. I didn't even spy a changing table. The only stall that was available when my turn came along was full of discarded toilet paper. The bio-hazard container for women's sanitary napkins adjacent to the toilet was filled to brim. I had to suppress my shudders of disgust so I could get in and out as quick as possible.
TheDestroyer Female, 29 years old.
New York, New York
On November 21, 2013, 10:25 am
What I Did in Here: Bombed it.