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28 years old
I am not making this up that my nickname growing up was "poopy." I do not know why but my own mother called me it. But I can't hate the name because I love a good poop. There was a period in my life where I refused to poop in a public place but that changed during college because running to my dorm (over a mile) to drop a load just wasn't going to happen. One day I snuck into a faculty bathroom in an administrative building and my new hobby was created, I forever have been trying to find good places to go. I drove a lot from North Carolina to Baltimore during college and I would always have to drop one during the 8 hour drive. I started to find and take note of the best hotels on I-95 to poop at. I started to call myself the "hotel bandit" because I had a routine: I'd walk in, tell the concierge I was waiting for my folks and then go to the bathroom. Once I moved to NYC the number of toilets are vast, but the number of clean ones are little. I have started keeping a log of where clean bathrooms are in different areas of the city, so I always have a place to go. That is my crappy story
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Lots of coffee, water and OJ and "I just got violated"

This isn't about the actual stop but what it is like on one of the busses. There are so many MegaBusses that each bathroom is different. However, though every bathroom is different, all the scenarios are the same. You walk in, only after falling on some poor old woman who was sleeping. When you get in the bathroom it is very small, but hey it’s a bus. It actually is quite clean, but that isn’t the problem. I don’t know how women pee in a Mega Bus, but any self respecting man stands and pees. But trying to pee while going 75mph down I95 is not as easy as it sounds. You’re falling all over the place while trying to not piss all over the seat. Usually I do very well (I learned from playing the watergun/balloon game at carnivals) but this last trip we must have ran over a deer because the bus jumped up and I could only follow suit. My dit dit went haywire and displayed a lovely artistic piece on the wall. I cleaned it, but then noticed the window, which is covered with a specific tint to allow privacy from passing cars, was torn right in the dead center. This means many Acura’s and Fords had the pleasure of seeing my dit dit and probably many a woman’s clit clit.
PoopyDoopy Male, 28 years old.
New York, New York
On January 31, 2014, 8:42 am
What I Did in Here: Pee'd and hula hooped without the hula hoop

Bacon turkey Bravo and all I can say is Bravo

Okay, so I go to Panera once a week as part of my routine and the bathroom is cash money. It is huge. It could literally fit 3 other urinals, but it holds just one toilet. Now this could prove a problem because men can pee all over the seat. However, I have not seen this problem once, so I am assuming the staff cleans it once an hour. And speaking of clean, it is very clean. I once ate my bacon turkey bravo off the floor. Don't judge me.

As most bathrooms I visit, this one has not one, but two BIGGGG trash cans. One is next to the sink to dispose hand towels and the other, is wait wait wait, across the room, a good 6 feet. If you're reading this saying, "Why is this a good thing?" Well that is because if you decide to stay on the toilet a little longer and you get bored or your legs go numb you can start working on your shooting skills. My squat shot has increased by 56.8967 % since I started going to Panera.

The hardest part about using this bathroom is getting the code for the door. You do need to know the code to enter, so you may have to buy a cup of coffee in advance. I say keep the receipt or memorize the code for the next time because they change the code either weekly or monthly. But other than that this is a great squat location and when you're done you can go enjoy some hazelnut coffee.
PoopyDoopy Male, 28 years old.
New York, New York
On January 22, 2014, 8:36 pm
What I Did in Here: Sat, Sat, Sat, Nothing happened, pee'd

I had a large cup of coffee and I look forward to going back

There are 4 or 5 bathrooms and I've done some form of business in all of them. I went to UCBeast for a show and had some time to kill, which was ironic because it felt like something died inside of me. I mean it literally felt like the chicken I ate earlier decided to seek revenge on my soul so it came back to life, produced an egg and that egg birthed into a young baby chicken which then grew into a full size chicken (hence the pain) and then died causing me to use the facility.

First, when you enter it looks and is very small. However, unlike some facilities where small means uncomfortable, this is not the case at UCB east. The toilet does not face the wall, which allows you to have a lot of leg room. There is a good amount of toilet paper and they are very clean. There is GIANT trash can next to the toilet, so if you want to rest your arm on it or even take a nap, you can. There is a two prong coat rack which is convenient for the Winter. And finally there is a sink with lots of soap right next to the toilet. It is within reach so if you are sweating and need to throw some cold water on your face, you can do so.

I recommend this facility because it is downstairs and away from people, so if you are shy then you will enjoy this place. Also, when you are done you can go grab a beer and watch a great show.
PoopyDoopy Male, 28 years old.
New York, New York
On January 22, 2014, 8:24 pm
What I Did in Here: I improvised a poopy

One Large cup of coffee and very pleased

So I went to Pick a Bagel to get a coffee and to wash my hands after riding the subway, I am very anal about that (no pun intended). The bathroom is just a single, so if you really have to go well order a grande cup and fill it up with your own expresso.

I waited for the pisser because a guy was in there, but when I got in there I suddenly had this urge of a 4 hour build up of gatorade, coffee and New York water. The toilet seat had a few drops of another man's urin, but I lifted it with my shoe and did my business. It was good.

There is a lovely plant behind the toilet so if your repulsed by the pee dribble on the toilet, you can go back to your primal roots and piss in the lilacs. The only problem was someone left a bunch of toilet paper on the floor, but hey "one man's toxic waste is another man's potpourri"-(Grinch). There is a handle bar if you have a real tough squat and need something to grab onto. And finally my favorite part of the bathroom is the toilet bowl cleaner. If you do not feel the bowl is clean enough, you can do it yourself, kinda like self check out.

Afterwards, I washed my hands and they had a well stocked soap dispenser, I am assuming it's pomegranate. They had legit paper towels and no soft ass hand blower that takes over 5 minutes. Overall it was a great experience.
PoopyDoopy Male, 28 years old.
New York, New York
On January 15, 2014, 12:28 am
What I Did in Here: Pee Pee from my Dee Dee

I ate some tootsie rolls and a protein shake and not satisfied

Let me say first and foremost, the bathroom itself is very clean. However, it is the outside environment that is the problem. The bathroom is inside a comedy club (at the bar, not in the stage area) and is actually very clean. It has a lot of room and a medium sized trashcan to throw old receipts that you find in your wallet out of boredom due to sitting on the toilet for way too long trying to pinch out that little nugget that has been saying hello to you all day at work and yet it just will not come out so you get bored and decide to do a yearly wallet cleaning. The trashcan is covered so you don't have to see everybody else's snot rags or Starbucks receipts.

I figured because the bathroom is in a comedy club you would get pleasure and entertainment because you can hear the comedy going on. However, that is not the case. All you hear is the people trying to buy drinks and the bartender telling multiple people that "the bathroom is being used by a guy who went in there 15 minutes ago." Also the door is locked by an old fashion slide lock so you think someone is just going to bust in at any moment.

Oh yeah, good luck coming in off the street just to use it because they will ask you what you're doing there and if you are a good liar and say "I am here for the show," they will make you buy a drink.

So basically you will spend $7 to take a poop.
PoopyDoopy Male, 28 years old.
New York, New York
On January 13, 2014, 11:51 pm
What I Did in Here: Walked in and tried, tried, tried to release the beast from within but could not.

Cheeseburger and like the glacier is poking the titanic

So I may or may not work here which may sound like cheating, but all that says to me is I know the way of the land. There are 3 different bathrooms (1 upstairs, 1 downstairs and 1 handicap only) and I recommend the one upstairs in the back of the restaurant. First off, it's completely secluded from the rest of the restaurant and the stall itself is spacey. I'm talking you got room to spread your legs, there's a coat hanger with two hooks that you can hang your jacket and book bag.

The best part is the door isn't far away so if you need something out of your jacket, like your iPod, BOOM it's an arms reach away. The bathrooms are cleaned multiple times a day, so it is usually clean. There is a nifty little trash can nearby so if you have the sniffles you can throw it in there instead of clogging the toilet more than you already have. There are two rolls of toilet paper with multiple back ups. And they use some 3-ply toilet paper, so it doesn't feel like sandpaper on your but (It's like a gentle massage on your rectum.)

The hardest part of this journey is the hostess greeting you at the door. But all you have to say is "I am meeting someone." And BAM you are free to go. I promise you they won't follow you to see if you are lying because more than likely they have to poop too.
PoopyDoopy Male, 28 years old.
New York, New York
On January 13, 2014, 12:04 am
What I Did in Here: I blew shit up.