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35 years old
When I was a child I read the book "Everybody Poops" by Taro Gomi and it completely changed my worldview. I quickly developed a passion for reading and writing -- that has continued to this day -- and I also realized that I was not alone in my scatalogical struggles and development. I learned that sometimes I can make a mess and that was okay, and that I could take ownership of it. This site is an extension of something that I do on a nearly daily basis that I have done since before I could remember.
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beer, chicken wings and a beef

Two Birds One Stone is this new basement bar on 14th street that is part of some other restaurant whose name I can't remember, but I'm sure that restaurant is fine too.

The restrooms are two single occupancy units with one designated for men and the other for women even though they are the same, except for probably the wallpaper.

On this particular Friday night I had a long wait for this bathroom and it made me pretty upset. The line was not long -- I was actually first in line -- but the guy who was in there was taking forever. Eventually, a girl showed up to wait in line for the women's and that bothered me because I was planning on going in that one if the woman finished earlier. Turns out she did, but I was shit out of luck.

Pretty soon I started talking to the guy in line with me, yes a line had started to form, and I kind of started saying that I hoped the guy in this bathroom was either passing a kidney stone or had a woman in there with him. I said all of this loud enough that he could hear me through the walls. Personally, I hoped for neither because I did not want to enter and see the remnants of this, but due to his duration I was preparing myself for the worst while also trying to shame him into hurrying up.

Eventually, he left the bathroom and when I entered everything was in its right place. No gag inducing smells, he did not leave with a lady, and everything was fine.

Overall, the bathroom was fancy in that modern way where they try to give everything clean lines with a bit of futuristic and vintage features plus a little naughtiness when they can. A wall of nude pin-up girls fulfills the vintage and naughty side and nice fixtures meet the futuristic requirements. However, I would love it if some bathroom went too futuristic and had like a self-heating toilet seat, but the bathroom could also talk to you like Siri or Her. That would freak me out, but I might love it.

I'm gonna have to deduct some points from my bathroom review because of my long wait and the fact that people from the restaurant from upstairs can use this bathroom. It is like they are begging for long lines.
gunnergetya Male, 35 years old.
On January 26, 2014, 11:58 pm
What I Did in Here: #1 while looking at classy vintage naked women on the wall

Coffee and some type of hip/cool sandwich

This place has two single stall, private bathrooms that are both pretty clean. No fancy technology bells and whistles -- I still had to dry my hands with paper, and not turbo charged air -- but these bathrooms are definitely above average.

The reason for this is that Kafe/Bistro Bohem really cares about its cultural identity, and I think a big reason for this is that everyone thinks that it is German cuisine when it is actually Czech. Turns out the website says that it is Central European cuisine, but I'm going to keep on saying Czech because it is shorter and in Central Europe.

When you're in here a part of you feels like you want to order a Bratwurst, but the rest of you knows that that is impossible. This is Czech cuisine. I don't really know what that is, but they serve it here and the food is good.

Well, the affinity toward Czech heritage continues into the bathroom. There is no Czech music playing, but there are some very nice photos of buildings that I assume are from that part of the world. Well, this bathroom makes you feel like you are in a quiet, wholesome Czech village and how often does that happen in DC.

This place is definitely worth grabbing a coffee or a meal later in the evening, and the bathrooms transport you to the Czech Republic. That's not bad.
gunnergetya Male, 35 years old.
On January 9, 2014, 6:36 pm
What I Did in Here: Number 1

I had a shrimp pizza. I feel good. They have good pizza here.

There was nothing special about this bathroom. It has two single unisex bathrooms in the back with no thrills involved.

Nothing flashy, no cool music, no obscene or perverted messaged written on the bathroom wall. This bathroom is purely for getting in and going out.

There's tons of toilet paper if anyone finds that thrilling. They smartly, but not aesthetically, have just tons of toilet paper in the bathroom stacked up and still in the protective paper just waiting for the user to unwrap it when nature calls a bit too vigorously. They have stacks on stacks on stacks of toilet paper.

Needless to say, I came here for the pizza and not the bathroom. If you keep this in mind then you should not be disappointed with this decidedly average bathroom.
gunnergetya Male, 35 years old.
On January 3, 2014, 11:00 pm
What I Did in Here: Number 1

Some really good ramen and I still feel great

What can I say about this bathroom? Gotta be one of the best in DC.

Cool light fixtures, nice red paint and you have your own unisex stall. I think there are two individual bathroom stalls accessible from the hall, and this is enough since this place is not that large.

I has everything you need plus a Dyson hand dryer. I still don't understand why some bathrooms don't have these. They are an absolute must.

But to top it off the bathroom plays pretty good Japanese pop music. I have no idea what they were saying, but I enjoyed it. Also, their was a nice Japanese poster of "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" starring Clint Eastwood on the wall. Pretty cool touch. Most places would be proud to have this poster in the main dining area, but this place is cool enough to relegate it to the bathroom. Nice work.

I almost felt like I had won something by entering this bathroom.
gunnergetya Male, 35 years old.
On January 3, 2014, 10:42 pm
What I Did in Here: Pigged out on ramen to fix a NYE hangover

A bunch of French food and a bottle of wine. I'm feeling great.

So for international restaurants it is hard to know if the theme is authentic or an American impersonation of this foreign dining experience. Many places avoid this confusion by becoming "fusion" restaurants. Le Diplomate does not such thing. This place aims to be French through and through, and the theme continues in the bathroom.

There is nothing futuristic or modern about this bathroom. There are no shiny new gadgets or cool lighting arrangements. This bathroom wants to make you feel like you are in a France that could not care about technology because "nous sommes francais" and therefore we don't need to care about gadgets. Everything works so why change it.

The bathroom looked like a slightly modern version of 60's or 70's French bathroom. Two urinals that extend to the floor and two or three stalls. The urinals had motion sensors, so that was very modern. The sinks were also old school with separate faucets for hot and cold water. Very French.

However, the coup de grace of this bathroom was the wallpaper. When you walk in you don't notice the wallpaper at first, but I gave it a look as I washed my hands, and low and behold the wallpaper is a random assortment of vintage era black and white French magazine clippings featuring a wide array of nude and scantily clad women. Definitely worth a peak as you enter and exit, but no one should be a creep and linger or gaze at the wallpaper. Le Diplomate is not that kind of establishment.

This bathroom got it done. I can't vouch for the authenticity of its French features, but it was clean, well designed and had a subtle treat as you enter and exit.
gunnergetya Male, 35 years old.
On December 17, 2013, 12:33 pm
What I Did in Here: #1

Cerveza and I'm feeling great

The photo associated with SOL Mexican Grill is a bit misleading because it is no longer merely a food truck. It now has a fully functional restaurant near Toki Underground with a solitary unisex bathroom. Food trucks can't have toilets unless you are incredibly drunk.

I can't vouch for the food, but the beer was Mexican. I had two SOL beers while I waited for my reservation at Toki. (That's right I had a reservation at Toki. A friend of mine got there at 5am today to get it -- oh the joys of government enforced snow days.)

Also, I was there with a friend who is fluent in Spanish, and she talked to the employees and basically if we were didn't have reservations we would have been confident that the food was legit. The progression from van that serves food to legit restaurant should have been a prime indicator of quality.

Well as for the TOILET, it was totally fine: clean, sanitary and basic. It didn't have a Dyson hand dryer, but it got the job done.
gunnergetya Male, 35 years old.
On December 10, 2013, 11:23 pm
What I Did in Here: I drank two cervezas and used their free wireless internet to do some work