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29 years old
Trololololololololololololololololololo. State Champion 2007 in Ohio Been to 32 states (Pooped in all) Facebook is Cordell Cantweallgeta Longstreath Semi-Luddite
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Pizza and Lasagne

This school is one of the best places to get free poops. I've been pooping since I was knee high, and the free pooping here is liberating. Plentiful, sanitized, and well-stocked this school is home of all types of diverse and intellectual turds that one day may be someone's boss!

"But, Squatter, how does one find a turd deposit in the Chicago City Colleges Information technology hub?", a young crapper/student may ask. Well the rule to always follow is, "ASK SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE THEY WORK THERE." When you walk in from the many entrances you will notice a command center of security guards who help salvage the butt-wipes you would of missed if one had sharted. Just ask the magic words and they will send you in deeper to the stinky goods.

Now if you are scared of security guards and strangers just find the Arts building sign, which like all the other directional indicators is right above a tube (heh), and the most frequented and easiest to find male restroom which comes with its own sign on your right. Your Welcome!

Pooping comes easy for an expert like myself; one painful grunt and I left a vague, yet, Cthulu like poo-baby. For you non experts, try imagining the confines of a high school restroom bombarded with college poo-thoughts like "One does not simply poo in Mordor.", or " It is not what your poo can do for you, but where you can poo in your country!". You may feel a little more inspired knowing that these city colleges were all found upon some of the nation's most prominent civil right's activist dreams of us all being considered equal regardless of race, religion, and/or creed. If this doesn't give you more pride in your poop try milk of magnesia, because you are honestly constipated.
GrigoriRasputin1988 Male, 29 years old.
Chicago, Illinois
On December 13, 2013, 2:09 pm
What I Did in Here: I wrote "Cordell 4 Life" on the wall

Fried Pork Intestine, Crab Rangoon, Hong Kong Style spaghetti

How I Landed Here: Going to The Great Wall too early in the morning, deduced to Sweet Station due to it being 8:30 A.M.

Directions: Left side of restaurant next too the apple-border.

Sights and Smells: Delicious food= aromas only matched by art like plates

This place is not somewhere you would run for an emergency poop. You must order and it is way too small and well-manned that there is no avoiding the employees. To avoid any scruple order a soda for $1.25, especially you don't want your head imploded by the delicious food. Once order is made feel free to go to the lavatory.

The restroom is small with black tile countered by the colorful neon colors of the extra toilet paper. No urinal? No Problem! The upkeep is so good I think every time a patron uses the restroom someone checks on it. Seriously, this place feels like a food spa; I even fell asleep once in the restroom due to the "itis" inducing food, music, and tea.

The men's restroom is a single person adventure so feel free pull out a pallet to sleep on. Power naps will be needed after getting stuffed, and with the isolation and surrealism you will feel after eating a wet crepe sanity is only a dream away. So with that said make sure to bring a friend just incase you have a crapsplosion brewing and make the relaxing journey to the potty.

GrigoriRasputin1988 Male, 29 years old.
Chicago, Illinois
On November 26, 2013, 3:04 pm
What I Did in Here: Tinkled

Shrimp Basket, feeling awesome

Tom & Jerry's play the old cartoon all day long, so if you want nostalgia and reasonably priced food be my guest and try it out. My most frequented restaurant in Chicago is great with tons of vintage signs and posters everywhere. The restroom is to the left when you enter on the left side very last door. You will know you are there when you see the cute sign that says "No Girls Allowed!"

My only complaint is that the employees are really close by, maybe 10 feet away, so the silence needed to contemplate world domination will not occur. What can occur is handicap rail grabbing, toilet paper using, automated air-freshening, good ole flatulence induced squattage. The floor is clean while the employee checklist is on the door just if you are curious if you are sitting on Italian beef sweat from a co-squatter. Literally, I have eaten here over a dozen time and like clockwork the employees maintain the bathroom better than they could dream of maintaining their tables.

This is not a public restroom, so the sign says. Best way to avoid the denial of this glory-hole is to just smile wave and head straight to the restroom. It is also a solo restroom with a urinal so if there is a line hopping on the computer and checking can prep you for the magnificence that is the men's room.
GrigoriRasputin1988 Male, 29 years old.
Chicago, Illinois
On November 25, 2013, 1:45 pm
What I Did in Here: Counted how long i could hold my breath

Tongue taco and two beef

Now FreeGeek isn't a normal trek for tourist or even native Chicagoans. I found the non-profit trying to find an alternative for getting a laptop for college. It seemed too good to be true, but nevertheless willingness to volunteer for 24 hours for a laptop was what mattered the most.

Now if you find yourself going here with a quaking sphincter the anxiety will culminate as you open the door with the signs pointing you into the basement... the start of a horror film. Thinking this was some type of tech geeks dungeon for dismembering broke-folk and making skin covered laptops DO NOT BE ALARMED! You just follow the hall and see the mess of refurbished hardware and grungy, underground nerds mulling around in a chaotic orgy of good nature. There is a table, the QA desk, likely with one of the philanthropists giving a discerning look, which you will have to ask where be the pooper.

Whoever you spoke to will give you basic direction: " they are directly behind me.", " hit the lights on.", and last but not least " lock the door." This is just protocol that must be first be followed if you don't want to dribble anal vomit down your leg, so follow your orders.

The restroom is surprisingly clean stocked with spray, toilet paper, two stalls, paper towels, and a sink. All the comforts of a private restroom, as well as privacy for those shy squatters. No one will be in there with you so you will find peace in all your grunting pleasure. The initial turn-off of all the mess is thrown out in this restroom. And to think this barely running non-profit's restroom is maintained by volunteers...

GrigoriRasputin1988 Male, 29 years old.
Chicago, Illinois
On November 25, 2013, 1:33 pm
What I Did in Here: Dropped excrements

Turkey Neckbones, beans, rice. Full of exclamations!!

Being a cultural nomad, the Harold Washington Public Library was my siren call for easy access defecation. Right off the Jackson stop when taking the "L" the 10 story book prison reminded me of some type of federal building and finding the lavatory was just as judicious. Entering one of the main entrances next to the Youmedia window displays there was not a restroom in sight, but there was a security guard and a help-desk receptionist lady who were quick to point me to an escalator and say "3rd floor!" Mission: Bowel Cleansing has begun.

Now you must take a right when you immediately enter the Bathroom Literature foyer area and follow the crowd up two flights of escalators where you will meet the first dilemma... the security check-out. Do not bring overdue library books, firearms, adult-themed products,etc! They will check your bags on the way out. As you round the overlook you will see the detector near the security guard, who may or may not come into the restroom for the routine hourly check up, who will check your bags on the way out. Just a quick warning

Once you are pass security as you look directly across the floor you will see a set of golden elevator doors all the way on the other side. Head that way until you can basically spit on the wall. Glance right and you should see the men's restroom sign in black and white along the same wall as the elevator. Enter at your own risk!

The facility is oddly dark, likely due to all the black that paints the room. When I visited the first time there were two gentleman dancing in the mirror and taking selfies while figuring out who would be the wingman with their next exploit. Ignore all idle chatter for there are only three stalls. The far left is the handicap stall with its wide area for midday costume changes, the far right has the most graffiti, but the middle one is special.

Now all commodes aren't made the same, which is obvious when you will first marvel at the glorious middle stall. Like the other too there is always a supply of toilet paper and seat covers,as well as a toilet to poop in. But what makes this so special is the apparatus that sits over the toilet seat. It is a rotating plastic seat cover that with a push of the button it starts moving. I've pondered for the past month

"Why only the middle stall?"
"Where does the soiled plastic go?"
"Is this some type of conveyor belt of steam-pressed plastic?"
"Why don't I get this at home?"

If you are as inquisitive as I was, your squat should breeze by. The internal pandering allowed me to ignore the loud patrons talks of conquest, the random wet spots all over the tile floor, and most importantly the roughness of the toilet paper. Once done remember there may be TP but there will be NO PT.
GrigoriRasputin1988 Male, 29 years old.
Chicago, Illinois
On November 23, 2013, 4:52 pm
What I Did in Here: Dropped a three piece