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The Latest and Greatest Toilet Reviews!

Cheese Omlette & Coffee

One urinal, one toilet, depressing decor.

Although fairly clean and spacious this bathrooms decor is not inviting at all.
The bland colors (grey, black, and tan) made me wish someone would sprawl some kind of graffiti somewhere just to make my experience a tad more interesting. Add a garbage can that resembles R2D2 wearing a Disney World rain poncho and welcome to my nightmare.

If you are in need of a clean place to evacuate your waste and want some great food to refill your bowels this is it. Just beware of R2. He is always watching!
DropitLikeitsHot Male, 31 years old.
Larchmont, New York
On January 12, 2014, 4:50 pm
What I Did in Here: Mellow Yellow

Pizza & Beer

This bathroom somewhat resembles the bathroom in The Godfather scene where The Turk and Captain McCluskey get whacked. The only thing missing is the big water tank on top of the toilet. No place to stash a gun, which makes it ideal for a sit down.

Extremely clean, spacious, and well lit for all you readers out there. Plenty of toilet paper for the heavy hitters. Two stalls and two urinals make short work of any would be line in this water closet.

Overall, good food & a great bathroom!
DropitLikeitsHot Male, 31 years old.
Yonkers, New York
On January 12, 2014, 4:32 pm
What I Did in Here: Lemonade

Honey Nut Cheerios with whole milk. Feels good

Off the bat, my complaint for these bathrooms is the same as my complaint for the entire business. It's crowded.

That said, it's practically free yoga, in a city where that can cost $20 an hour. So I'll stand in line and do some kegels.

Bathrooms here are always clean and well stocked. Typically a little warm, due to the temperature they keep the classrooms, but at least that makes for no cold toilet seats. My butt is happy with that.

The line is a huge downfall, since there is no rule about people changing clothes in the restroom, despite the presence of changing curtains. I'm a quick pisser. I get in and out. But many, many...many people who practice at YTTP are far from that, and it's almost necessary to show up 15 minutes earlier just to use the bathroom.

But there is a bathroom. And it's clean. When the other neighborhood options are Starbucks and McDonald's or buying something from Chipotle, I'll take it.
BootyPoop Female, 31 years old.
New York, New York
On January 12, 2014, 1:40 pm
What I Did in Here: Tinkle

Honey Nut Cheerios with whole milk. Feels good

Compared to other toilets I've had the privilege of visiting in our lovely city of filth, this is like a throne of angels.

These bathrooms are never full and always relatively clean, meaning no feces clogging the bowl or smeared across the walls and a general lack of urine smell throughout the room. I've never needed to worry about not having toilet paper or getting crabs from using the toilets here, and if I've pooped here, it's gotta be pretty sanitary, because I'm a shy pooper.

Soap and paper towels are always available and the graffiti level is mere to non-existent.

Maybe Steve Jobs is brainwashing us, but he keeps his toilets clean.
BootyPoop Female, 47 years old.
New York, New York
On January 12, 2014, 1:32 pm
What I Did in Here: Number 2

Coffee and some type of hip/cool sandwich

This place has two single stall, private bathrooms that are both pretty clean. No fancy technology bells and whistles -- I still had to dry my hands with paper, and not turbo charged air -- but these bathrooms are definitely above average.

The reason for this is that Kafe/Bistro Bohem really cares about its cultural identity, and I think a big reason for this is that everyone thinks that it is German cuisine when it is actually Czech. Turns out the website says that it is Central European cuisine, but I'm going to keep on saying Czech because it is shorter and in Central Europe.

When you're in here a part of you feels like you want to order a Bratwurst, but the rest of you knows that that is impossible. This is Czech cuisine. I don't really know what that is, but they serve it here and the food is good.

Well, the affinity toward Czech heritage continues into the bathroom. There is no Czech music playing, but there are some very nice photos of buildings that I assume are from that part of the world. Well, this bathroom makes you feel like you are in a quiet, wholesome Czech village and how often does that happen in DC.

This place is definitely worth grabbing a coffee or a meal later in the evening, and the bathrooms transport you to the Czech Republic. That's not bad.
gunnergetya Male, 35 years old.
On January 9, 2014, 6:36 pm
What I Did in Here: Number 1

Bring your own TP. Prepare to

Bring your own TP. Prepare to wait on short line..

The reason I even waste my time on this bathroom review is that there is serious potential for improvement if TJ Maxx literally and figuratively gets their shit together. An efficient janitor needs to be hired as there was some old shit water splashed on the back of the toilet and the garbage probably hadn't been emptied in days. The bathroom is surprisingly fancy for a one person bathroom shoved in the back of a shoe dept of an off-price department store. And the people who shop there are quite civil. The elderly gentleman in front of me promised he would be quick and when he was finished, he assured me he put the seat down for me.

I don't like to write negative reviews, but this bathroom experience was especially upsetting because I really truly had to take a shit and I knew it was going to be a quick, easy dump that I could quickly pull off even with people waiting on me. That said, any one-person bathroom with both a wait and no toilet paper is going to earn itself one star max.

But I have the utmost faith that one day, TJ Maxx will not only be an excellent place to buy luxurious soap, but it will also be an excellent place to take a luxurious dump.

DoodyFreeGirls Male, 27 years old.
New York, New York
On January 8, 2014, 3:50 pm
What I Did in Here: guerilla marketing for Doody Free Girls

I had a shrimp pizza. I feel good. They have good pizza here.

There was nothing special about this bathroom. It has two single unisex bathrooms in the back with no thrills involved.

Nothing flashy, no cool music, no obscene or perverted messaged written on the bathroom wall. This bathroom is purely for getting in and going out.

There's tons of toilet paper if anyone finds that thrilling. They smartly, but not aesthetically, have just tons of toilet paper in the bathroom stacked up and still in the protective paper just waiting for the user to unwrap it when nature calls a bit too vigorously. They have stacks on stacks on stacks of toilet paper.

Needless to say, I came here for the pizza and not the bathroom. If you keep this in mind then you should not be disappointed with this decidedly average bathroom.
gunnergetya Male, 35 years old.
On January 3, 2014, 11:00 pm
What I Did in Here: Number 1

Some really good ramen and I still feel great

What can I say about this bathroom? Gotta be one of the best in DC.

Cool light fixtures, nice red paint and you have your own unisex stall. I think there are two individual bathroom stalls accessible from the hall, and this is enough since this place is not that large.

I has everything you need plus a Dyson hand dryer. I still don't understand why some bathrooms don't have these. They are an absolute must.

But to top it off the bathroom plays pretty good Japanese pop music. I have no idea what they were saying, but I enjoyed it. Also, their was a nice Japanese poster of "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" starring Clint Eastwood on the wall. Pretty cool touch. Most places would be proud to have this poster in the main dining area, but this place is cool enough to relegate it to the bathroom. Nice work.

I almost felt like I had won something by entering this bathroom.
gunnergetya Male, 35 years old.
On January 3, 2014, 10:42 pm
What I Did in Here: Pigged out on ramen to fix a NYE hangover

Singha beer & emerald dumplings; pleasantly surprised

I wound up at this place after showing up an hour early for a friend's show. There's no beer on tap, but they've got imports to spare and the bar is fully stocked towards your cocktail needs. The decor is great, too, wait staff included. Everyone was stupidly attractive and very friendly.

Since the bar is at the front and no one checks you at the door, the bathrooms are fairly accessible. Walk straight back from the entrance towards the main dining area and take the first left.

Apparently, this restaurant is a serious hotspot. While it was fairly quiet towards the front of the restaurant, it was packed to the brim when I wandered further in. Despite this, there was no line for the toilet and there's only one for us ladies to use.

The bathroom was clean and tastefully decorated ( check out the ferns on the ledge ) but it's very dark. There's a huge mirror, but you can't see shit, so it doesn't really matter. It's all black everything in here: the toilets, the sinks, etc. Very chic with ten tons of toilet paper.
slackerology Female, 31 years old.
Squatted At ViV @ 717 9th Ave
New York, New York
On December 29, 2013, 5:47 pm
What I Did in Here: A teeny, tiny princess sprinkle.

Tired.

It was an urgent moment but I made it with seconds to spare. While the restroom was not completely unkept, no soap in the dispensers, I certainly would not want my corporate logo outside that men's room door. If the ladies' room was in similar shape, expect to hover over your drop zone before releasing your payload. All things considered, if the staff stuck to the cleaning schedule posted on the door, I was there at 4:01 pm on Wednesday and the last cleaning was at 9:00 am, the place might be in better shape.
Decpro350 Male, 66 years old.
Bronx, New York
On December 20, 2013, 3:26 am
What I Did in Here: Liquid release

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