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The Latest and Greatest Toilet Reviews!

Last I ate here was a burger and I drank some beer

The bathroom is usually pretty clean (it looks like they clean it fairly often). The tp was stocked and there are plenty of stalls. The only downside is the location. You have to trek downstairs to get to his bathroom. It's not so bad if the bar is not crowded, but it often is very busy. So, you have to pile through a lot of crowds to get to the stairs and then get down to the bathroom. However, I'll take the stairs to get to a clean bathroom.
akabatch Male, 34 years old.
New York, New York
On November 14, 2013, 9:41 am
What I Did in Here: Unfortunately I had to do #1 & #2 in public

Jack and Coke. Feeling wobbly. And I have to pee. Like, bad.

When you pee in Johnny's, you're virtually sharing a toilet seat with just about every barfly, writer, artist, and local in the West Village. After one or two drinks, which flow freely (and cheaply) at this historic dive bar, you'll have trouble navigating your way into the back area -- past the amazing jukebox -- which houses the teensy lavatories. If you're sober enough to realize there are two, good for you. So what'll it be? Men's or women's? No matter at Johnny's. In the end, the one that is closest to the bar usually wins out.

We hope you've remembered to bring your Sharpie! And we hope you're ready to sit down on the porcelain bowl for a good long time. Because the bathroom at Johnny's is a graffiti artist's heaven. Some of our favorites? Well, there's the run-of-the-mill "If you sprinkle when you tinkle..." Then the less traditional "your mama has crabs"; "gun control sucks"; "for a good time call Nancy Pelosi"; and "Maud was here" to just about everyone's phone number south of 14th street. I even found mine in down in the corner, scratched into the wood. No, not really. (But it's there now!)

As for cleanliness? Forget about it. If bathrooms have diseases, you can be sure you'll leave Johnny's with one. But not before you've relieved yourself in the same bathroom that -- not that we're name droppers, but -- Dylan Thomas and Ernest Hemingway once did. Okay, we're kidding about Hemingway. But Dylan Thomas -- according to legend -- yes. Rumor has it that he dropped a deuce at Johnny's just before heading over to the White House Tavern for his very last drink. How's that for a slice of West Village history?






Poprocks Female, 47 years old.
New York, New York
On November 14, 2013, 9:32 am
What I Did in Here: Peed and got your mama's phone number.

burgers from ShakeShack and a milkshake, superb

This venue is the ultimate lifesaver for a man (or woman) in need. The toilet is unisex, and is located in the basement next to the grooming station for dogs. Despite a strong odor of cleaning agent, the toilet is clean and comfortable. A great place to relax after some frantic searching. 5 stars.
JuicyFoot Male, 45 years old.
Squatted At Petco @ 860 Broadway
New York, New York
On November 12, 2013, 6:37 pm
What I Did in Here: I think something died in here after I left

coffee, satisfied

This is my usual coffee stop along the way of my morning commute from Brooklyn -> Manhattan. The restroom here is pretty typical of a starbucks - long line, but gets the job done. I presume that I'll be coming back here quite frequently in the future.
toadstool1024 Female, 40 years old.
Brooklyn, New York
On November 12, 2013, 5:59 pm
What I Did in Here: peed and did my makeup

tea, coffee, and a bagel. happy

It's incredible how much gas I had after such a simple breakfast. I strolled into the bathroom line, and it was about a 5-minute wait. That's the only thing I didn't like about this toilet. After a couple of quick, forceful farts, I did the deed, and felt much better.
MsJane Female, 28 years old.
Manhattan, New York
On November 11, 2013, 4:49 pm
What I Did in Here: girls fart, too

shrimp and asparagus

I just came here again yesterday. The restroom is very clean and private, but the staff is mean if you aren't a customer.
toiletfinder Male, 31 years old.
New York, New York
On November 9, 2013, 10:36 am
What I Did in Here: it's none of your business

soup, salad, relieved

I landed here after eating at this venue and subsequently having a major gastrointestinal emergency. Luckily, they had toilet paper, or otherwise, it could have been a lot worse. I complained to the manager about the crab soup afterwards (that must have been the culprit), and I ended up getting the meal for free.
ToiletBot Male, 31 years old.
New York, New York
On November 2, 2013, 2:12 pm
What I Did in Here: peed and pooped

too much pepsi, feeling gassy

This is literally my favorite place to take a nice leak or dump whenever I'm in the Flatiron district. The restroom is all the way in the back of the store, and the staff are very friendly, and it's easy to blend in as a customer.
ToiletBot Male, 31 years old.
New York, New York
On November 2, 2013, 2:06 pm
What I Did in Here: farted a lot, but nothing came out

you guessed it... meatballs

This place is usually pretty packed at night, and if you pretend to be a customer, it's easy to slip past the staff and do the deed. Highly recommended.
ToiletBot Male, 31 years old.
Brooklyn, New York
On November 2, 2013, 2:02 pm
What I Did in Here: pooped, peed, and farted a lot

thai iced tea, happy

The staff here is usually very accommodating, so I'm happy about that. The girl's bathroom is very clean, but once in awhile it's crowded trying to get in.
ToiletBot Male, 31 years old.
Squatted At Spice @ 104 2nd Ave
New York, New York
On November 2, 2013, 1:19 pm
What I Did in Here: peed

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