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The Power Rangers, you know the one before they got stupid

Summary: If you are in Time's Square just go here and pretend to poop if you have too. If not for the clean, Reptar green color, for the sheer spectacle of childhood.

This is the epicenter of a child's dream world. When you walk in there is a ferris wheel. A ferris wheel in the middle of the store. Do not go down the escalator unless that's where you are headed. Then ride like the wind!

The bathroom is located on the second floor. If you take the escalator you take a right and follow the railing all the way around until you see the Baby's R Us sign. If you see the Baby Bjorn you're on the right track. You could also use the elevator and you just take a left.

Now the bathroom itself isn't the Ritz, but it's Reptar green, what else do you want. Considering that this is a kid's store it was very clean and smelled like the pine tree's of Colorado. Well maybe not that fresh, but I would have no problem using it.

Now the real problem truly will be getting up there. Besides me walking down memory lane with every lego set and Zord around, I literally had to dodge the 6 different flying contraptions that were flying overhead. The employee's must take bets as to how close they can fly them or how many people they can bump into without getting fired because I saw at least 3 vict- I mean customers get more than they bargained for.

My advice is to pop in here whenever you have the chance. If you don't have to go, just pretend you do and walk around. Just watch your head.
Cowpie09 Male, 27 years old.
New York, New York
On November 18, 2013, 2:18 am
What I Did in Here: Relived my childhood

Water and lots of it

I love Fairway; it's as if Whole Foods had a weird bastard child with Trader Joe's, but no one will give you cookie butter samples. This location is particularly humongous, it could take me a good hour to get through all the aisles.

The bathroom is great at this location. Why? Three words, friends: NO. BATHROOM. KEY. That's right! Gone are the demeaning days of tracking down a teenaged stock boy to lead you to a closed off part of the supermarket to open the door to the world's tiniest toilet. Gone also are the days of having that same teenaged stock boy wait impatiently as you fumble through the process that you thought you've mastered (because apparently 20 plus years of practice isn't enough and all of a sudden you're an adult with bladder shyness) so he can lock up after.

So yes, I'm pleased that I can use the bathroom at a supermarket.

This bathroom consists of 4 stalls, with one designated as the handicap stall. I favor this stall for the space and also the privacy because it is in the corner(again bladder shyness is real). This isn't really necessary because it is almost always empty. Employees do a clean of the stalls every few hours; the staff signs off on the chart that's located on the back of the restroom door.

It is daunting to track down the location of the bathroom if you're unfamiliar with the setup of this particular Fairway, but the friendly staff more than makes up for this shortcoming.
Clo101 Female, 27 years old.
Douglaston, New York
On November 18, 2013, 2:12 am
What I Did in Here: #1

Blueberry scone/ pumpkin spice latte, FEEL: ok considering combo

Bean & Bean is like a minimalist Starbucks done right. The simple, rustic layout of the coffee shop and the communal tables/benches lends to the overall relaxed vibe of the place. Have a coffee or two! Or three! Or four! Suffer the consequences of said four coffees!

As a lifelong bathroom hypochondriac, I've spent the bulk of my life avoiding public restrooms. More often than not, I will decide to forgo the bathroom experience all together and wait until I am safely home. Nothing gives me greater anxiety than a propped up toilet seat and questionable liquid on cheap tile. I am not, however, a monster; I've needs like any other person and sometimes you have to answer your body's unflinchingly eager call. That is why Bean & Bean is a great location to get a decent coffee and pop a squat (bench and/or toilet).

I can only vouch for the women's bathroom (bc duh), though in times of stress I have seriously considered sneaking into the men's bathroom. It has a single toilet and sink in a dimly lit room. It's clean with a soap dispenser (Dial antibacterial, I believe) that is never empty. Toilet paper and paper towels are always filled. I often see the employees go in and give it a quick clean during downtime. Only cons would be: the lighting, which I don't mind because that's not why I visit bathrooms, and the size, which I don't mind because the line (if there is one) moves quickly.
Clo101 Female, 27 years old.
Bayside, New York
On November 18, 2013, 1:39 am
What I Did in Here: #1

Idk, but i'm about to release it to the wild

Summary: If you use this bathroom, it could change the way you look at m&m's forever. Yeah even when you are hungry on that road trip that you thought would be a good idea.

M&M's. Basically an american past time. Like apple pie and commercialism. This place is huge! Full of every kind of m&m imaginable. It's the kind of place that I think that dentists' secretly endorse for more business. I mean I was dizzy and growing cavities the minute I walked in there.

Well the bathroom is located on the third floor and it will take you a little while to get there, because this place is always busy. And you will probably get hungry on the way up, so why not stop for a snack.

Once you stop for that snack you will wish you had stopped your quest for the ring there.

Located to the right of the escalator, and painted in classic M&M colors, you can smell it from 10 feet away. Which makes me weary of the candy. I walked in the bathroom and opened the stall, and I thought they decorated it with yellow m&m's.

..... how wrong I was.

Whilst holding my nose and surveying the strange decorations - the reality hit me. That was no cleverly crafted design for a toilet seat. It was, yes, the golden flow, the yellow rain, the juice of the loins.

I just ran. I am not ashamed to say it. I literally turned and ran. And I think it hit a 4 year old on the way out, but he was better for it.

My advice - stuff your face will all the candy your poop filled bodies desire, but if you would to keep all the food coloring from coming out the wrong way, I would use the Starbucks across the street.
Cowpie09 Male, 27 years old.
New York, New York
On November 18, 2013, 1:36 am
What I Did in Here: Second thoughts about eating yellow M&M's

I think a stick of gum, but idk what it was that I picked up.

Summary: You know that I am a sucker for presentation, and it doesn't get much better than this. Except you know in heaven.

When you combine Pottery Barn and the holidays I know you can smell the cinnamon and expensive twills.

The bathroom is located on the lower floor in the bathroom section. Which is just to left of the bottom of the stairs.

It's almost too much to comprehend. The store is basically if Santa and Martha Stewart had a baby and that baby threw up. Cuz it's pure holiday joy at this time.

It is impossible to walk through here and not think about that house that you have dreamed of. Even if you are the manliest man you will find yourself thinking "That would look nice in my study" You don't have a study!

So to the bathroom - it's a nestled right near all the 10000000 count towels that cost about that much each. So you open the door and the full vanity just hits you in the face with all its beauty. This is a perfect example of a place that's bathroom is a calling card for the their store. They took the time to design and make sure it was a reflection, not just an afterthought.

And after you do the deed if there is ever a problem with finding some paper towels you have about 15 different choices for hand towels.

Perfection.
Cowpie09 Male, 27 years old.
New York, New York
On November 18, 2013, 1:10 am
What I Did in Here: Dreamed of buying a 3 story brownstone

Some bottled water before the long bus ride home, most likely.

Having been a pedestrian/public transit rider since 2007, it's been important to know when and where one can find easy-access public facilities in a pinch. And having lived downtown for three years where the street people roam in herds and access to public restrooms (of ANY condition) is few and far between, I was pleased to discover one place that was always clean and reliable ... The Los Angeles Central Library.

I call it the Temple Of Research with its regal design and escalators transporting patrons up and down three floors full of printed knowledge. It offers many different programs for students of all ages. It also boasts some amazing sculptures and ongoing art exhibits. But my favorite program is the ALOUD lecture series which is, "a celebrated series of conversations, readings, and performances that brings today’s brightest cultural, scientific, and political luminaries to the curious minds of Los Angeles". Many authors of popular books speak there/have spoken there.

Anyway, back to the restroom. After a 12 mile, one and a half-hour bus ride from work to downtown, it was nice to be able to exit the bus, walk about half a block, and get to an urgently needed restroom. As you walk through the main entrance, it is immediately to the left for women, and to the right for men. And yes, you will find a uniformed security guard standing near the entrance who will eyeball you, but that's all the clearance you need. The facilities are old colonial style with free-standing basins instead of a counter (which I hate, but I digress), and old-school wooden doors with sliding brass locks on the stalls. Granted, a lot of homeless and abuelas with strollers frequent the place, but even with that it is relatively clean and well stocked. I never experienced a paper shortage of any sort when I went there.

(No pics of the restroom currently, but it's on my agenda ... stay tuned.)
Noirmel Female, 97 years old.
Los Angeles, California
On November 18, 2013, 1:02 am
What I Did in Here: Relieved myself after nearly two hours on a bus ... oy.

Hamlet

Summary: Ah the theatre - while I am going to doubt if this bathroom will win any awards, I guess they gave it the old college try. And by college try, I mean dropped out and started a hamster babysitting business.

The bathroom is located either up a flight of stairs or you can take the elevator. The theatre entrance is located after you take a right. If you keep walking around the display the bathroom is right there.

Now, this is an old building. In it's defense, it's been playing the Fantastics for like 20 years or something. But the bathroom has yet to be updated. The lighting is very stark and the smell isn't exactly fresh as daisy's. There are snapple facts written on the inside of the bathroom stalls, and while I do care that "The average person takes 23,000 breaths a day" I would care more that there is toilet paper when I need it.

There is a separate bathroom at the end of the hallway, so if you would like to feel like you are at a very stark, moderately smelly home away from home - use that one.

It's a bathroom that you can use. That's about the most positive thing i can say about it.
Cowpie09 Male, 27 years old.
New York, New York
On November 18, 2013, 12:33 am
What I Did in Here: Star-crossed Lovers

My memory's a bit sketchy, but I believe it was a Robert Palmer.

What can I say. You deal with the hand you're dealt. And, you take the bitter with the sweet. What I'm trying to say is, if you go to the most popular dive bar in downtown Los Angeles, don't expect to get the royal treatment. Don't get me wrong, you will have the time of your life on some fairly cheap drinks among a very diverse group of highly creative and excitable people. Between the lavish junkyard decor, GhettoBlaster night, the Gong Show Karaoke, and free pizza happy hours, there's no way you can't have a good time ... until you have to go ...

And by "go", I mean to the toilet. And I mean toilet in the worst possible way. Even if you've never been there, you can locate it by following the scent of vomit. When you make it to the vestibule dividing the men's and women's rooms, you'll notice it's a onefer ... which can be good or bad, depending if there's a queue or not. I'm sure many a patron has not held it all the way there. (They even joke that their barstools double as toilets, but not by design.) Once inside, you will notice that every surface is painted black. Don't be fooled, this is a tactic meant to camouflage the filth and bacteria that certainly has survived the decades of restroom abuse by unkempt patrons, negligent staff, and the occasional skid row dweller that frequents the place by mingling and blending in with the hipster crowd. Oh, and it was naturally out of paper, but luckily I brought my drink with me and had cocktail napkins. Be sure to save some for that purpose. (But don't flush 'em ... they have enough plumbing problems already.)

But the perpetual filth is not even the worst part. What could be worse you ask? The clown painting staring down upon you. That evil, god forsaken clown ... it's an image that will stick in your brain no matter how wasted you get there, because he is the one sharing your most intimate moment, when you are your most vulnerable ... and laughing at your drunk ass the whole time.

I had a pic of this thing, but I can't seem to locate it. I think it was so terrifying I deleted it. I'll need to revisit the place to take a new one. Damn my luck.

Noirmel Female, 97 years old.
Squatted At Bar 107 @ 107 4th St
Los Angeles, California
On November 17, 2013, 11:24 pm
What I Did in Here: I voided and bailed.

Christmas Cheer

Summary: Huge building, one of the nicest bathrooms around this location. Save yourself the trouble and go to the third floor to use the bathroom. Second floor is questionable, in a way that it smells like an old grampa fart.

This is the epicenter of shopping at Columbus Circle. You have an H&M, Godiva, J. Crew, Whole Foods, I mean if corporate America has found a way to make money from a store -- it's in this building.

Something else in this building are a few bathrooms. Now you have some choices here.

So go up the escalator and walk to the right, just around river bend Pocahontas style (you know without the smallpox infected blankets) and you will find the bathroom. Now I will give them the benefit of the doubt because as I was entering the bathroom I saw a man in a vest who in fact was the janitor. So if someone like that is on the payroll I will assume they know how to keep a high volume bathroom clean.

But damn, damn, damn, it was just a mess in there. Smelled so bad, and I surprised I didn't slip on the puddle's of who-knows-what on the floor.

I just couldn't believe it. This multi-bazillion dollar facility? No no, there has to be another one. So I traversed my self up to the third floor, and Ahh, the holy grail. the holy. grail.

Beautiful countertops, wall length mirror so clean you could deliver baby on, huge stalls that we very clean. And it smelled like the Governors' mansion.

The only problem is that this site might be where aliens touchdown, because I saw a pair of shoes, with no feet in them and no one in sight there.

If you are around this area. Shop til you drop. (you see what I did there.)
Cowpie09 Male, 27 years old.
New York, New York
On November 17, 2013, 11:15 pm
What I Did in Here: Found Roswell.

The lovely grilled salmon at Lemonade, below MOCA~ Satisfied!

During a day trip to MOCA LA, I decided to stop for lunch at Lemonade, the luncheonette located there. Had a delicious grilled salmon plate with couscous salad on the side and fresh squeezed lemonade ... best lunch I've ever eaten with plastic utensils.

Of course after lunch came the requisite restroom search. Being such a gorgeous sunny day outside, rather than go back inside the museum, I decided to wander around amid the impeccable concrete and glass structures that surrounded the courtyard, expecting to find proper facilities. I entered through an unmarked door to what appeared to be a restaurant, then spied an elevator which I took up to the second floor (no reason, just going on instinct). On the second floor level, I walked out to see I was looking down on some sort of lobby ... this was not where I entered, but it was huge, modern, majestic. It appeared I had wandered into a theatre or hotel of some sort.

I knew there had to be a public restroom somewhere, so I located the ladies room and was overjoyed to discover I was the only one in it. Not only was I the only one, but by all appearances I was the first one to use it that day. I have to mention, that is the mark of the perfect public restroom for me ... when there appears that no one else is there nor has been there. No traces of other humans engaging in repulsive bodily functions ... no sight, no smell, and no mess as evidence. Who doesn't love having the entire restroom all to herself, amirite ladies??

It had a small foyer with a table, two chairs and real flower arrangement. On a facing wall, there were two framed lithographs in 60s modern art style. The colors were tasteful earth tones, brown and gold. Marble and chrome made up the fixtures and each stall had a shutter blind type door; very stylish. But the best feature was the vanity mirror ... it had two lamp strips running all along the top and bottom of it, as if someone could apply stage makeup there if they needed to.

At this point, I still did not know where I was or how to find my way out, so I asked an employee to direct me to the exit, and that's when I saw the sign outside that read Omni Hotel Los Angeles.
Noirmel Female, 97 years old.
Los Angeles, California
On November 17, 2013, 10:55 pm
What I Did in Here: I enjoyed using the spotless facilities, and then took a few public restroom selfies.

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