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I had a large cup of coffee and I look forward to going back

There are 4 or 5 bathrooms and I've done some form of business in all of them. I went to UCBeast for a show and had some time to kill, which was ironic because it felt like something died inside of me. I mean it literally felt like the chicken I ate earlier decided to seek revenge on my soul so it came back to life, produced an egg and that egg birthed into a young baby chicken which then grew into a full size chicken (hence the pain) and then died causing me to use the facility.

First, when you enter it looks and is very small. However, unlike some facilities where small means uncomfortable, this is not the case at UCB east. The toilet does not face the wall, which allows you to have a lot of leg room. There is a good amount of toilet paper and they are very clean. There is GIANT trash can next to the toilet, so if you want to rest your arm on it or even take a nap, you can. There is a two prong coat rack which is convenient for the Winter. And finally there is a sink with lots of soap right next to the toilet. It is within reach so if you are sweating and need to throw some cold water on your face, you can do so.

I recommend this facility because it is downstairs and away from people, so if you are shy then you will enjoy this place. Also, when you are done you can go grab a beer and watch a great show.
PoopyDoopy Male, 27 years old.
New York, New York
On January 22, 2014, 8:24 pm
What I Did in Here: I improvised a poopy

soy latte

No matter how hard I try, sometimes I can't help but give in to the urge of using a public bathroom. I guess you could say I've had some horrific experiences that involved someone walking in on me even though the door was locked! I sometimes get flashbacks of that fateful day which reminds me why I don't use public bathrooms, but sometimes you just have go.

So I search around the small yet packed cafe to locate the bathroom. I spot what looks like a door and head toward the back, but right before I could make my way to it. This guy walks out of the bathroom with a look that says he's done way more than just pay the water bill. I stood there a bit paralyzed unsure of what I should do. My mind told me to go running in the other direction but my bladder had other plans. So I braced myself for what could truly be " Poopagedon" As I turned the doorknob I was hit with a smell that could bring tears to the eyes of a rugged gansta. I screamed in silent agony, I knew I had to make it quick so I ran towards the toilet, did the do, washed my hands and was out of there.

While I was in there I did manage to take a picture of the cool graffiti that graced the smelly walls. I figured why not sacrifice my sense of smell for the greater good of man kind!

So long story short, if you have to use the bathroom while visiting The Bean make sure you bring a gas mask! You never know if you'll need it!
Nikki2685 Female, 29 years old.
Squatted At The Bean @ 54 2nd Ave
New York, New York
On January 22, 2014, 5:53 pm
What I Did in Here: numero uno

January 2014 . . . no problems

The men’s room at the iconic Murphy’s Deli & Bar in downtown Providence is a 25-square-foot box that can be either available and unobjectionable, or not. Just depends on when you need to fire away.

Murphy’s is somewhat of an icon in Providence. About a decade ago it moved from a block away to its current more-visible spot closer to the Dunkin’ Donuts Center, which enables it to cater to sports and concert crowds coming and going. Combine that with decent lunch traffic and curious conventioneers, and the bar can be a decent hangout. You might even run into a politician you recognize.

Problem is, when the bar is busy the one-person-only (more on that later) bathroom is too small to accommodate the crowd, and lines tend to form.

And those lines are almost constant on Friday nights, when the nearby clubs empty out around midnight and Murphy’s morphs from a deli/bar into a meat market with DJs and grinding bodies. With more than a hundred drinkers and one men’s bathroom . . . well, you do the math.

Watching 20-somethings twerk can be entertaining, but there also can be a good show in the small hallway where kids who have had one Jello shot too many try to navigate their way in and out of the bathrooms. Every now and then the one-person occupancy rule is violated, with the unfortunate result being that what happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom. (Fair warning: Under the right conditions DNA can last for hundreds of years.)

But that’s only for a few hours late on weekends. The vast majority of the time Murphy’s is a welcoming, decent place with a friendly staff and an OK if unspectacular place to eliminate waste products. They save money by using one-ply toilet paper and the wash basin is merely serviceable. And because of graffiti scratched onto the mirror, for a split second you might think you’ve been transformed into a post-plastic surgery version of Bruce Jenner.

Bottom line – it’s not the Ritz Carlton, but if you HAVE to go, Murphy’s will suffice.
Circlingthedrain Male, 68 years old.
Providence, Rhode Island
On January 22, 2014, 10:07 am
What I Did in Here: Got rid of rented beer

Blake’s Tavern, located in

Blake’s Tavern, located in downtown Providence, looks like one of those watering holes where everyone should know your name. But they don’t. Part of it is staff turnover. Part of it is the transient nature of a customer base that includes students from nearby Johnson & Wales University. Part of it is that the pre-theater early-evening clientele is too snooty to develop relationships with people they view as their inferiors.

Whatever the case, Blake’s is basically just your routine bar, and the bathroom facilities there pretty much reflect the ordinary nature of the establishment itself.

However, there is good news:
1. They will usually not hassle you if you want to just pop in and let go. The men’s room is located just past the far end of the bar, in a tiny hallway, and the women’s room is adjacent. (Note: There is an extra women’s room further in, and to the right, next to the kitchen.)
2. Even on weekend nights, Blake’s is rarely so busy that you will have to wait more than one (maybe two) traffic lights to relieve yourself.

The men’s room has a capacity of one, which gives you plenty of privacy if you need to grit your teeth, groan a bit and launch a Seawolf submarine.

The place is kept relatively clean, though you don’t get that Lysol smell that makes you feel that at least 35 percent of the bacteria has been eliminated.

The only ambiance is illegible graffiti that one former patron has thoughtfully left on the inside the door and greets you on the way out. Perhaps translates to something like the once-popular bathroom funny “Flush twice – it’s a long way to the kitchen.”

All in all, an OK spot to get done what you need to get done.


Circlingthedrain Male, 68 years old.
Providence, Rhode Island
On January 22, 2014, 9:31 am
What I Did in Here: Observed and watered the urinal

Ever want to let one loose on

Ever want to let one loose on the same throne that once supported a famous pro athlete?
Now’s your chance – if you happen to live in or visit Providence, R.I.

Almost all the pro football teams playing against the Patriots at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, Mass., stay over the previous night at the Omni Providence in nearby (25-minute ride) Rhode Island. And the first stop for at least some of the players is the head in the lobby, just across from the check-in desk and next to the escalator.

Since Peyton Manning has played in Foxboro many times, the chances are good that he’s called an audible or two in the facility before heading to his room. And the facility is actually quite nice – four urinals, four toilets, four sinks. Even a painting. High class all the way. And what better way to score an autograph than be exiting the stall when a pro football player is on the way in? (Note: Teams arrive on airport shuttle buses at about 5 p.m. the day before the game.)

Don’t be too concerned about the signs that say the rest rooms are for guest use only. (Unless you’re dressed like a homeless person, in which case you have about 90 seconds to get in and out before security arrives.) Just walk in like you own the place. All the better if you have one of those “Hello, my name is . . .” badges, because you’ll look like one of a thousand people attending any one of numerous conventions.

The Omni is also prime territory for rich suburban high schools during prom season in May/early June, and more than one horny 17-year-old boy has been disappointed to find out that the bathrooms in 4-star hotels don’t have machines that dispense prophylactics.

The Omni is across the street from the R.I. Convention Center, which is attached to the Dunkin Donuts Center, a 12,000-seat venue for sports (Providence College basketball, minor league hockey) and big-name acts (Elton John, 50 Cent etc.). All in all, the Omni is a great place to spray or bomb if you are looking for both convenient and clean.






Circlingthedrain Male, 68 years old.
Providence, Rhode Island
On January 19, 2014, 12:59 pm
What I Did in Here: Limited to standup elimination

Pizza and soda - noncha


Bowling alley crappers – try saying that 3 times fast. Free parking and entrance. Walk through two sets of double doors, make a left pass the huge desk on your left walk a little further and the bathroom is (you guessed it)on your left. It put me in the mind of a high school locker room minus the jock sweat. It was clean with no bad smells. The only thing that bothered me was the lighting. I couldn't see the color of my piss. It was way too dark in there as if a dark shadow was hovering over the stalls; otherwise, I would have rated it a 4. Other than that I felt okay taking a whiz in there.
Willdo Female, 39 years old.
Douglasville, Georgia
On January 18, 2014, 9:33 pm
What I Did in Here: Urination elimination.

Black Pepper Chicken and more water -feeling hydrated.

I bring you good news from the land of Booboos. After hanging out in Underground Atlanta for a while, I figured I could use some fresh air. I found a great parking space adjacent to the Waffle House and right across the street from Centennial Park for only three bucks. There are free spots around there, but they are usually a bit of a hike and you really have to fight for one.

I took a stroll in the park, admiring its beauty, inhaling some good oxygen and once I downed my last bottle of water it was time for a tinkle. I made my way toward the regular bathroom but to my surprise it was out of order; however, the attendee of the temporary ice skating rink pointed me to what looked like a trailer. So at first I was weary about going up the steps and into this trailer sitting the middle of the park to pee, but once again I had waited too long.

Once I stepped inside it was simply marvelous. It smelled wonderful - some kind of soft berry smell. It was beautifully decorated and impeccably clean. I think it had about four stalls and every single one was clean. There was also a small electric heater sitting in the corner and it gave the bathroom a warm 'at home' type of feeling.

I wouldn’t say that it was sexy; however, it was definitely very romantic. Not to be weird or anything, but I could have definitely kissed someone in there and not felt nasty. I still did my normal routine of wiping the seat off and lining it with paper. And the seat was very comfortable. That little tinkle buggy was definitely a winner!
Willdo Female, 39 years old.
Atlanta, Georgia
On January 18, 2014, 3:45 am
What I Did in Here: Urinated or shall I say dehydrated.

Water and juice which left me feeling like a broken faucet.

Water, water everywhere and not a pot to piss! What I believe to be the main entrance of Underground Atlanta is directly across the street from the MARTA Five Points Station at the corner of Alabama St SW and Peachtree St SW. I parked at the nearest parking garage, which was on the left side of the first right turn after I saw MARTA Five Points Station sitting on my left. I had been holding my urine for about 45 minutes while sitting in the heavy Friday traffic and one cough or laugh could have meant a dam break of the fearless “Golden River”.


I grabbed my parking ticket, parked in the first open parking space and hurried towards the glass encased entrance. When I got in the door I turned to the right and sprinted down the escalator. Once at the bottom, I looked to the right, saw the restroom and instantly began feeling some sense of satisfaction as if I had won a race against my urine. With my head held high I marched into the fairly decent access point. And then after turning the corner, I got this eerie feeling as if I had just made “The WRONG TURN”. I was seriously horrified walking down the filthy, polluted hall pass the men’s room and to the ladies room. (Hold on I think I need to throw up…okay I’m better now).


I opened the door to the women’s bathroom and it just got worse from there. There were brown spots all over the floor, the grout looked like a breeding ground for mold and mildew and there was trash everywhere and it wasn’t just tissue. And oh –the smell- left me wondering if just maybe someone came in and tried to mop the floors and the wall with peepee.


I actually contemplated peeing on myself, but being a good squatter, I squatted over the pot and pissed hoping that nothing would jump onto my buttocks from that distance. Don’t get me wrong, I actually like Underground Atlanta, but something seriously needs to be done about that particular bathroom. If you’re visiting, I suggest you go down the vendor alleyway and use the bathroom in one of the restaurants in the food court.
Willdo Female, 39 years old.
Atlanta, Georgia
On January 18, 2014, 2:12 am
What I Did in Here: Pissed.

Life Thyme is one of my

Life Thyme is one of my favorite spots to grab an organic smoothie or juice. They have a cute and comfortable cafe on the upper level along with a beauty section. When you walk into Life Thyme, you feel as if you are apart of a club. You are embraced by people who share the same vision as you…which is healthy living. But one thing about healthy living is healthy bowels! Life Thyme has a restroom that is the size of my pinky toe and it seems to hold on to smells in this obsessive way. I mean lets face it, this little toilet probably endures more than most NYC toilets because it is the only toilet for the entire organic market. Let's just say that this little bathroom has character. My time in the Life Thyme bathroom is always fast, full of anxiety, and uncomfortable. I never want to touch or look at anything, I just want to handle my business and flee. My moments in this tiny closet have been short and painfully smelly. If you decide to frequent this toilet just be sure to make it a speedy process. I am always afraid of getting attacked by unknown germs and particles.

Good luck!
malliha4244 Female, 31 years old.
New York, New York
On January 17, 2014, 11:04 am
What I Did in Here: The number one of course!

Ice Cream- I love it but it hates me and enjoys bowel dancing.

As I left the chilly, early evening air and dashed into Arbor Place Mall through the main entrance like I have done so many times before, I found myself rendered immobile for a brief second. “Oh no, “I thought, “not again!” I felt like maybe I had to pass gas, but I could not take chance of a fart turning into a “shart”. It was a feeling I knew all too well. Bubbling, swelling, fiery and eager to be free, but why? “Oh; of course, the ice cream I ate earlier.”

For years I’ve had this ongoing love-hate relationship with cookie dough ice cream. I yearn for it like most women my age yearn for a soul mate. It; however, does not return my admiration. It tricks me with its beauty and sweet fatty elements. As soon as I have satisfied my appetite, the ice cream lingers in my intestines waiting for the perfect moment to ruin my day with its favorite dance – the Lactotrot.

Realizing that I was now obligated to perform in the “Revenge of the Ice Cream” twirkathon, I begin to take very tight, rapid steps towards the escalator that lead to the nearest bathroom. I grabbed a hold of the hands of the four children who accompanied me and commenced dragging them up the escalator on what felt like a hike to the top of Mount Everest. After conquering the mountain, I scurried to left, through the food court, to the hall in the far left corner where I found a great reprieve - the bathroom.

Following my belly swayed instincts, I zoomed into the first female entrance way, taking a glimpse of cleanliness only to be knocked back by an invisible reek that I can only describe as “something fishy”. Unable to bare the smell; I swooshed out of there, still clinging to my troops and darted down the hall to the family restroom – which made more sense anyway.

Walking through the door it stunk of old mop water, but that smell was an upgrade from the one that slapped me in the nose earlier. Once through the door, I rattled off instructions of “Sit here, don’t move and yell if someone tries to snatch you!,” While at the same time slinging the children on the bench which sat in front of two more doors; one a male bathroom and one a female bathroom. I reached for the female bathroom door which appeared to be dirty and worn down like a prop from an old horror movie.

And when I opened it, to my surprise it smelled wonderful and it appeared to be very clean. The only odd thing about the appearance was the hole in the wall to the left as you’re walking in. I’m thinking it could have been made by the door handle or maybe a fist because it was definitely big enough. It had been stuffed with tissue, but it was still very creepy.

As usual I wiped the seat off, lined it with the well supplied toilet paper and went to battle with the infamous cookie dough ice cream. After it kicked my tale and I did my hygiene thing I only longed for a deodorizer that would allow me to leave the bathroom smelling as good as it did when I entered.
Willdo Female, 39 years old.
Douglasville, Georgia
On January 17, 2014, 12:02 am
What I Did in Here: We'll just call it "The Lactotrot" - a cross between the "DoDo Brown" and the "Drop it like its Hot" dances.

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